Golden Advice from 30+ years women
There’s a saying on twitter that goes like “It’s just twitter” meaning what happens on twitter is not the same thing that happens in real life « or my truth on twitter is not necessarily my truth in real life ». Well, I am always against that, I believe that social media brought us a chance to express ourselves more, and maybe there is truth on what you say on the media as much as what is going on in your personal life.
So when I saw this post from Faraja Nyalandu’s Instagram, I knew I had to learn it like it meant the world to me. Because, again, social media provides raw advice from different personalities. And what an easy way to learn something than writing about it? Huh?
Ever sat down and wondered what if there was a book that guided you on this life thing? You know apart from tackling one day at a time? I believe this type of book happens from learning through other people’s experiences. So, I decided to choose the 10+ best advice that was provided and share it with all women who can relate to this. Faraja’spost had over 700 comments, so I will hereby talk of the things that appeared several times.
1. Every human soul in this world has its own purpose and fate, don’t bother yourself competing with anyone’s purpose and fate
“Whatever your calling, it's already rooted within you, and those roots can be trampled or tugged at but never removed. They grow stronger only when tended, nurtured, and most importantly, shared with others.” ― Oprah Winfrey
You have your own experiences, your own story, ways that your life has been structured. You are not like anyone else in this world; you are not a duplicate of anyone else. Your features, your experiences, your stories are all connected to a purpose, there's a reason that you're in this world at this particular time so stick to that and only that.
Do not be frightened and stressed when some of your friends quickly make it in their lives, everyone has her own time zone, work hard and have faith that God (or any higher power you believe in) has not forgotten you. See the people who are quite successful in their first year after college, well they have a different purpose from you, trust your process.
“Life is not a race. You don't start in the same position, and everyone isn't going in the same direction.”
2. Work on any idea that comes to your mind, you never know how and when you will find your passion. No Limitations.
“You came so that you could learn about your dreams,” said the old woman. “And dreams are the language of God. When he speaks in our language, I can interpret what he has said. But if he speaks in the language of the soul, it is only you who can understand” from The Alchemist.
The Alchemist is one of my favorite. In the book – Paulo Coelho explains this very well. How all the ideas in your mind are God’s way of expressing things to you, how things that are happening in your life are God’ language that only you can interpret, and like everyone else, I relish in the idea that somethings are only for me to explain and fathom – because then, it makes me special and unique and stand out in my own element.
So, don’t sleep across that idea that is crossing your mind each and every time again. Don’t close yourself to your career at the same time; there is something you think you can build – if you think there’s something you can build? Then do just that – be a builder of your own ideas. Use your time well, start something as a side hustle, see it grow, and even when it doesn’t become what you wanted, know that there was a reason that it happened in your life, there was a reason God let you do that.
“Think of it this way: There are two kinds of failure. The first comes from never trying out your ideas because you are afraid, or because you are waiting for the perfect time. This kind of failure you can never learn from and such timidity will destroy you. The second kind comes from a bold and venturesome spirit. If you fail in this way, the hit that you take to your reputation is greatly outweighed by what you learn. Repeated failure will toughen your spirit and show you with absolute clarity how things must be done.” ― Robert Greene
3. You will fall in and out of love, again and again. Take your time. Have Faith. Don’t stress that you are not married and don’t marry under pressure.
“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.” ― Paulo Coelho
Take your time. Don’t feel pressured with the world timelines; it's okay to be single, it's okay to walk out from a toxic relationship, you deserve to be loved as well. Go on dates, explore your options, have fun and never, she repeated never stress about marriage – because the person God has for you will come when you least expect it. You’ll be amazed by how well things will flow.
When it comes to love and marriage, work in yourself- be the person that the person you desire will want to spend time with – fall in love with yourself first. Don't throw yourself to a man just because he is wealthy; you will never live with wealth baby girl but rather with a person.
4. Start saving money, however little. In your 20s, the intention can simply be to make it a habit. the fear of failure.”
“Small amounts saved daily add up to huge investments in the end.”
All my impulses arise when there’s a money topic. I dislike how we always make this a taboo topic, and too many times not talk about it. So, I will be raising more money talks on the Blog, and as much as the saving topic is at hand – please save for a purpose and live within your budget don’t stress with things you can’t afford
5. Invest in new skills besides what your official certificates hold.
“In the future, the great division will be between those who have trained themselves to handle these complexities and those who are overwhelmed by them -- those who can acquire skills and discipline their minds and those who are irrevocably distracted by all the media around them and can never focus enough to learn.” ― Robert Greene
I am a Lawyer working in HR with Marketing and innovation interests. There are no limits to your interests. Learn new skills, educate yourself on things you don’t know, like etiquettes, how to speak correctly, how to shake hands etc. (these things matter). Manifest the things you want, be it anything, because possible!
Be educated, be exposed and set your goals and priorities straight while aiming to become financially stable.
Bloom where you are planted. It doesn't matter how small the opportunity/ job is, work so hard that people notice, always improve yourself further. God blesses us more when we work with what we are given. Don’t be scared of making mistakes – it's’ through your mistakes that you will be able to learn.
“The future belongs to those who learn more skills and combine them in creative ways.” ― Robert Greene
6. Have FUN! Go out, travel, and enjoy your youth.
“Even though you're growing up, you should never stop having fun.” – Nina Dobrev.
Travel to different countries if you can. Seeing the world will help you to understand the opportunities and capabilities that you have. It will help you to get out of your comfort zone, recognizing that there’s so much more than your culture. Travelling will introduce you to so much more in life than your lifestyle than the dresses you adore or the greetings you give.
Travelling is a sure way of quick growth. It’s about unveiling the victim mentality and owning to your decisions and seeing and experiencing all at once. When you learn to live with a bunch of people that are only related to you by experience then you realize it’s time to toughen up and make due, and so you get out of that “it’s meant to be” mentality.
Meet people whose backgrounds are different from yours – you will learn and grow from this.
7. Pray, meditate and take care of your body.
Try your best to make prayer your best friend. Try your level best to cultivate a habit of understanding that there’s a more significant power than you, try your level best to become the closest you can be with your God. This will make your path easy for you; this will bring your life a living purpose; this will make you fulfilled with what you have.
Learn to pray about your future; learn to pray for your career, your spouse, your goals. Pray for everything that you're going through.
Put God First in all you do.
8. Spend time with your family - life goes by so fast and you never know when they will not be around
9. Talk to older people
“It’s better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours, and you’ll drift in that direction.” ― Warren Buffett
I talked about associating yourself with hard topics here. Become a learning spree, become updated that you can have conversations with people of different calibres. It will open so many doors for you from having different perspectives
Associate yourself with people you can learn from. Don’t limit yourself to friends that you grew up with, or friends that you went to college with. Build your network; it will bear fruits in your 30s
10. Take care of your mental wellness
It is so important, take care of your thoughts, speak good things about yourself, believe you are enough, and you can do anything, be positive and never let negative thoughts lead you astray.
Be very comfortable with your own company. Learn the things that you love.
“Take care of your soul, stay away from negativity. Toka kwenye hizo Whatsapp groups kama hazikujengi. Sio lazima utoke every weekend kama hujiskii. Pumzika, take time to reflect. Yes, you will be betrayed by friends, and your boyfriend will break your heart, but you will heal. Take time to just make yourself happy, wewe mwenyewe. Learn to do that. You will have to do more of it in the future, so learn now.” – From the provided comments.
The things that 30+ years old ladies provided here, really resonated with me, and the life I am currently living up. If your 30+, please comment more below, and to my fellow 20’s year old, live by these Gems with purpose.